Archive for 'sex toys'

Writing Porn Versus Writing Erotica

Fan Fic Porn Writer

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When I started off as a freelance writer, my bread and butter was writing for porn sites. After I had started writing longer form erotica, especially for those looking to resell my work on Kindle, my writing needed to change.

Porn gallery descriptions and blog posts tend to focus on a set of keywords. Webmasters are looking to get their sites to rank as high as they can, so ensuring that the phrase “Thai creampie” (or whatever else the site is hoping to rank for) occurs a certain number of times in a block of text is rather important. The writing tends to be short and rough, quick and dirty. Let’s be honest, no one – especially guys – go to the majority of porn sites to read. Descriptions for sex toy web sites are quite similar. I walk a fine line between keyword-stuffing and readability, in the hopes that the latest Google update doesn’t penalize the site for over-optimization. I do have to admit, though, I do enjoy the intense rush of being as dirty as possible in as few words as possible (as webmasters are often looking for pieces between 100 and 300 words).

There are a few exceptions to this rule, though. Certain fetishes attract men who want as much detail as possible. They want to read what the slave is thinking when she is getting fucked in the ass with a mechanical dildo. They don’t want to imagine what it’s like when a Dominatrix steps on their naked cock – they want it spelled out for them.

This is where one genre of writing starts to roll into the other. This is where things like character, plot, exposition and conclusion come into the picture. Sometimes it all happens in the context of 250 words, other times a bit more fleshed out.

Erotica writing obviously tells a story. Going out on a limb here, I dare say that the main ‘readers’ of porn are men, and erotica women. Google doesn’t rank book text, so there’s no need to find ways to include a phrase over and over again. My erotica tells a story in “X” number of words. Sometimes I am given a general framework to write it (such as someone wants a vampire story, or a teacher-student piece, or FemDom), or I’m just told to write a 7K word story using my own ideas – as long as it’s formatted for Kindle, includes a title and a blurb, and can be expanded into a series if need be. This is where I write what I like to read, and where my skills as a freelance adult writer grow the most.

I often worry if employers for one side see the other half of my work and get turned off. If a webmaster read Snow White and the Seven Fetishes, would he think I’m too ‘wordy’ or ‘story driven’ for adult gallery descriptions? If someone who wants me to write erotica reads my work on Thai Fuckers and think I can barely string a sentence together that goes above the level of a twelve year old? I suppose its something to battle if that discussion ever arises.

Coming Up For Air

Lelo review

It’s been far too long since I’ve blogged – and Tweeted, for that matter. After Eroticon, I had a flood of work come in, and I’m just now catching my breath from about six weeks of madness. In there was a trip back to the States as well, to celebrate my birthday.

One of the down sides to no longer being a performer is that I don’t get gifts from ‘fans’ any more. I’ve now started getting gifts from employers, though! My longest standing contracts (who I don’t name on this blog, as they use my work as ‘their own’) posted me two lovely Lelo toys for my birthday! I was pleasantly surprised to open up a brown cardboard box which arrived at my address in the States to see these – a Lelo Ella Pleasure Object (in dark purple) and a Lelo Ono Cleo Massager (in red). You’ll have to parden the pic quality – it’s taken from my phone cam.

The silly thing is, getting toys like this helps me with my writing. For a while now, the majority of my work has been centered around sex toys, so I take the use of these vibrators and dildos are ‘research’. Now that I’m back in the socializing swing of things, I hope to hear from you on my Twitter account.

Free Sex Toys for Erotica Bloggers

Sex Toy BloggersErotica and other adult bloggers have access to a lot of free swag these days. There are a number of sex toy web sites who have discovered that a great way to get their name out there is to give away free toys in exchange for reviews. While I have yet to stumble upon any UK based toy shops that are offering this, one of the great companies that I work with in the States is now in the game –

Here’s the blurb from their site.

EroticToyTown will provide Sex Toys to bloggers and reviewers free of charge. Please choose from the selection below and email us at Please make sure to provide us with the URL of your blog, forum or review site. We will return your mail promptly.

They’ve got some seriously sexy stuff up for grabs, including a iVibe Suction Cup Rabbit Vibe, An Aria Cock Pleaser Blowjob Masturbator, and Icicles Glass Massagers. Get all the details you’ll need at Erotic Toy Town’s Sex Toys for Blogger’s page.

I was sent a few lovely toys from Erotic Toy Town for Christmas while I was in the States, and will be posting my own reviews of their toys in a few weeks time. If I was in the States on a more regular basis, I know I would be getting involved in this. Incidentally, if you know any sites in the United Kingdom that offer this, please leave me some details in the comments below.

Sex Toy Descriptions

Sex Toy websites are provided item descriptions from the manufacturer. Often, adult toy sites want their sex toy descriptions to stand out from the others, making it more SEO friendly. The sex toy descriptions below are being used by Erotic Toy Town, a great adult novelty website based in the USA.
Icicles 23 sex toy descriptions

Icicles No. 23 Glass Double Dildo

Icicles No. 23 Glass Double Dildo by Pipedreams combines style and functionality to blow the competition out of the water! It’s a unique sex toy that was hand crafted with extreme attention to detail. It looks great while delivering you the pleasure that you crave.

With two bulbous heads and a soft, supple shaft, you are getting a work of art that packs a powerful punch with the Icicles No. 23 Glass Double Dildo. These elegant, sleek glass double dildos will last a lifetime if cared for properly, and is easily cleaned up with soap and water. You can warm it up in the microwave or put it in the freezer before use for even better sensations. Icicles No. 23 Glass Double Dildo is made from 100% hand-blown glass, so it is hypoallergenic, nonporous and body safe. This glass double dong measures 13 inches long by 1.25 inches wide with a girth of 4.5 inches around.

Glass toys are a hidden niche in the dildo market that is now being discovered by sex toy lovers around the globe. If you enjoy firm toys that will easily warmed and cooled for temperature play, then glass toys are something you need to become acquainted with! Be sure to check out our other Icicles glass sex toys.

Squirming Dildo Sex Toy Description

Rotating Realistic Cock Squirming Dildo

Sometimes it’s the small things that make all the difference. The action of the Rotating Realistic Cock Squirming Dildo has a lifelike texture down to every fold of skin and swelling vein. When turned up, the rotating cock reaches all the sweet spots inside you for a truly toe-curling sensation.

With its rotating head for mind-blowing sensation, the Rotating Realistic Cock Squirming Dildo will hit every inch of your sensitive insides. Use the remote to dial up the sensation and feel it move around inside you. The Rotating Realistic Cock Squirming Dildo is approximately 6 inches long and 2 inches around, and is powered by 2 AA batteries which are sold separately. The suction cub base holds it in place for the exploration of new positions when solo. Since this rotating dildo is made from rubber, we strongly suggest using a condom to keep it clean, as rubber may absorb fluids and be difficult to disinfect.

The only way that this toy could get any more lifelike is if they turned it into a squirming and squirting dildo! When your typical still dildo isn’t enough, get the Rotating Realistic Cock Squirming Dildo by Doc Johnson!

Lelo Etherea Silk Cuffs Description

Lelo Etherea Silk Cuffs

From the company that has brought you the finest vibrators on the market comes Lelo Etherea Silk Cuffs. Take control of your lover and bring them to heights they haven’t reached before being bound. Give up all control to your partner and let them lead you through a path of pleasure. The Lelo Etherea Silk Cuffs are a high class way to experience bondage in the bedroom.

Made with silk, sheepskin suede and nickel-free metal, the Lelo Etherea Silk Cuffs are unlike any restraining devices you have used before. They use Lelo’s classic jacquard pattern, so you can easily identify that it comes from the premier name in high end sex toys. Able to be worn on the wrists or ankles, these silk cuffs work for both those stepping foot into bondage play for the first time, or those who live the lifestyle on a daily basis. The cuffs of the Lelo Etherea Silk Cuffs measure 7.2cm to 15cm, with a ribbon length of 18.5cm. These silk handcuffs are available in binding black, passionate purple, or ravishing red.

There may be something attractive about cold steel around your wrists, but there are times when a lighter touch leads to the heaviest experiences. Be bound in style with the Lelo Etherea Silk Cuffs.

bachelorette party balloons descriptions

Bachelorette Party Balloons

So you’re throwing a bachelorette party for your best friend, and you’ve started looking for ways to decorate the room. One easy way to fill up the space and give it that ‘last hurrah’ look is by using these Bachelorette Party Balloons. This set of eight penis balloons by Candy Prints are easy to blow up by mouth or with a helium tank. Each balloon has a pattern of penises and phrases all over the balloon.

We suggest buying multiple packs of the Risque Bachelorette Party Balloons so that you can completely fill your space, or create a collection of balloons for the bride to be to take with her as you go bar hopping on her last night of freedom. Why not have each member of the bridal party have their own set of penis balloons? Beware – the phrases on these balloons are quite naughty, so be ready for a lot of attention! These balloons are a great addition to ladies who are dressing in theme for their bachelorette party – especially naughty schoolgirls.

Bachelorette Party Balloons come in a set of eight, in various colors. Not that you would give these naughty balloons to a child anyway, but if they end of up in the hands of little ones, be sure that they are always supervised by adults. This also goes for the bachelorette who may have had a few too many on her night out!

If you’re looking for more penis balloons to complete your bachelorette bouquet, we suggest looking at the

Good Head Blow Job Gel Description

Good Head Oral Gel – 5 Pack

Why settle for one flavor of oral sex gel when you can get a tasty five with Good Head Oral Gel – 5 Pack. Each one ounce bottle of Goodhead blowjob cream comes in a tongue-licking taste that will keep your mouth happy and wanting more. Why don’t you try the sexy strawberry, cheeky cherry, make-me-cum mint, sinful cinnamon and pleasing passion fruit during your next oral sex experience? Dessert, anyone?

Good Head Oral Gel – 5 Pack are five individually packaged bottles of blow job cream with an easy-to-remove top. Simply squirt some gel onto your lover’s penis to add some variety to when going down. Good Head Oral Gel is also great as an oral sex stimulant for ladies as well. Just a little dab on the clit and your lover will be lapping it up. Why not try it on a pair of pert nipples before you give them your full attention?

As Doc Johnson put it themselves – add a little hum to your hummer with the Good Head Oral Gel – 5 Pack!

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